ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
by TheOnlyPotato
Summary: Effie was nominated and the time was ticking. Might as well get it over with, after all they weren't going to relent.


**AN: Okay, quick thing. This is a humorous fic, but ALS is not a humorous disease. I am not making laughter out of ALS, I am attempting to make laughter of the challenge. A friend of mine over in another fandom got stormed for making a fiction about this, which is why I waited for the commotion to die before making a story. If you firmly believe that anyone doing the challenge is making fun of ALS, please turn around before flaming me.**

**Now, that's said and done, hello! Unfortunately, I wasn't nominated for the challenge - unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure - so I didn't get to participate and donate. But I figured Effie and Haymitch doing so would be nice comedy, something that doesn't happen often in the Hayffie fandom. But this is probably going to be a crack fic. Alright, proceed.**

**Dare**

"I nominate," a drenched Katniss says. "Effie Trinket and Peeta Mellark. You have twenty-four hours." Her lips are turning blue and quivering as she stands, soaked to the bone, in one of Peeta's oversized shirts. The screen goes black as the credits roll - they had displayed the video all over the country to show support in aiding the research for the disease that had begin to be an epidemic in Panem.

Leaning forward, Johanna rewinds the video to watch the girls screams as the ice water was dumped over her head by her escort and boyfriend. Katniss sits back in the couch with a huff, glaring at the screen.

There were only two people that hadn't participated yet - Effie and Haymitch. Peeta did his right after Katniss', but it wasn't as fun to watch because he'd just sort of stood there shuddering afterwards. Johanna had donated, the whispers of what the water for to people had warded her off and both Annie and Finnick hadn't even flinched at the water. Apparently, in District 4 parents bathed their children in ice water to ward off and kill diseases that they contracted while being out on the sea.

Gale had donated, and so had Plutarch. Which left only the older couple left to participate.

"You only have twelve more hours Effie," Annie warns. "Just do it now." The blonde rolls her eyes, flipping her hair behind her shoulder like doing the challenge was that last thing she was worried about.

"I'll donate," she says, smiling. "Honestly, Annie! My swimsuit is dolce and cabana! Its for tanning, not actually swimming. I'm not wetting that thing."

"You paid nearly four hundred dollars for a swimsuit she wouldn't even swim in?" Johanna asks the man who had his arm wrapped around Effie. He pinches his nose in exasperation.

"At the time, I didn't know that. And now that she's worn it, I can't take it back." There is pitying glances from all the men - and Johanna - minus Peeta. They all knew the hardships of their wives tendencies to over buy. Finnick got off easy, because Annie only ever spent too much on something that would benefit the both of them. The rest of the men had to face the occasional overuse of money on things they couldn't use.

"We're getting off subject! Right now, Effie. ALS. Let's go," Katniss snaps. Effie crosses her arms and legs, a difficult scowl on her candy-colored lips. "Dead or alive," the young girl warns. Still, the escort persists. The last thing she was doing was getting in that damned backyard to be covered in liquid that was colder than a well diggers ass.

Shrugging, Katniss looks to Haymitch. Effie had her hold over him, yes, but he would never pass up the chance to see Effie soaking in moisture. Mostly because the bras she wore were thin and he could see her breasts right through her shirt. Any opportunity to look at her nude or even remotely so would be enough drive for him.

Standing, he lifts her with ease and begins to carry her to the backyard. "Haymitch put me down!" Effie shrieks when the initial shock of being lifted has warded off. Haymitch rolls his eyes, as if she really thought he would listen.

Effie's fists pound on his back, and desperation sets in. She really didn't want to ruin this outfit, and doing the challenge could have a numerous number of effects.

"No sex for two days!" Effie knew of the overactive libido he had and it literally hurt him not to be all over her once a day. Finnick gags at the mention, and Haymitch falters, looking to the others. Effie breathes a sigh of relief, even though his grip doesn't release. That would get him.

"That's a long time guys, I don't know," he says, eyes filling with faux-dread. He looks so serious they actually believe him, Johanna muttering death threats under her breath.

"Seriously!" They all snap at the mentor. Chuckling, he continues walking.

"I was kidding, here's the backyard, princess," he sets her down on the ground and wraps an arm around her waist belt she makes her big escape. "Who'll be retrieving my choice of weapon?" He asks, holding Effie still. His hands begin to run soothingly up and down Effie's arms, but she was shaking in nerves. That desperate feeling was setting in again, so she turned and grabbed him by the lapels of jacket.

"A week," she hisses. This time Haymitch's eyes really widen and his voice lowers.

"Princess, you don't mean that," he whispers. She raises an eyebrow. _Try me. _Shaking his head, Haymitch swallows hard. "A week? That's... that's inhumane!"

"You two are like rabbits!" Katniss says, setting up the video camera. Effie laughs breathlessly, and her grip tightens on his jacket as presses her lips to his. "Gross!" It may have been gross, but Effie knew how to get her way, and Haymitch's Achilles heel was her kisses.

"Haymitch, I'm warning you. I will hold out." He's staring at her like she's actually hurting him but eventually, her lovers resolve hardens.

"No. I'm a big boy. I have hands." There's a chorus of disgusted grunts from everyone -except for Gale, amazingly, who turns red - before Haymitch rolls his eyes. "Last time we hang out with them. They're like children!"

"Technically-"

"Say a word Katniss and I will stab you in the most painful part of your body and watch as the life leaves your eyes with a smile." She takes two steps away from her fellow Victor before coughing. Effie is looking pleadingly at Haymitch, the realization he wasn't going to break hitting her like a blow to the chest. She couldn't win this time. She was going to ruin her favorite dress over something she could have just avoided, and probably pass out or something.

Haymitch presses a sweet kiss to her forehead before smirking mischievously and helping Johanna lift the bucket of water. Devices were out everywhere, recording the moment. Relenting, Effie looks into the main camera.

"This is Effie Trinket here. I've been nominated by Katniss Everdeen for the ALS ice bucket challenge. I nominate Alma Coin and Haymitch fucking Abernathy." There are pitying glances at Haymitch as both Finnick and Peeta step away from him. If Effie was cursing, it meant something was all wrong and someone would feel wrath.

"1..." She prepared herself, squeezing her eyes shut. "2..." Anticipation wells in her stomach. She'd heard things about the challenge, Effie was truly afraid. "3!" Her loud squeak is drowned out by the water and she screams, hopping up and down and crying - not that anyone could notice. Her bones felt cold as they were drenched in cold liquid and her body immediately began to quiver. There was laughter in the distance as someone pulled her close.

With chattering teeth, Effie looked to the man holding her tightly. "W-w-what about you?"

"Meh, I'll donate."


End file.
